Shortly after the election, I was going through an emotional rollercoaster. What I once considered a North/South issue became a slap in the face when I looked at the United States map splashed in red, including states that we had recently discussed possibly moving to; that compounded with overwhelming disappointment in humanity. I talked to a friend about how to handle family members and friends who voted for the convicted felon, now our President, who supports policies that would hurt my rights as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, not to mention the myriad of other reasons that prove he is a disgusting human being.
She said to me, “They were not thinking of you when they made that decision, “They were thinking about themselves.”
I too have been guilty of only thinking of myself. I am no stranger to self-preservation. My very existence since childhood was predicated on it. I stayed silent because it protected me. But I know that my decision would not have been any different if I were not affected by the policies of Project 2025, because I truly care about the rights of my fellow humans. Not just my fellow Americans but my fellow humans. And it made me tremendously sad that not everyone felt the same way.
We continued in our conversation to talk about love and coming from a place of love, and though it seemed like the right idea at the moment, I went home thinking, How? How can I love someone that I don’t even want to be around right now? Furthermore, how can I continue to show love to the people who have disappointed me time and time again? Because at some point it starts to come at the expense of self-love, which is something I have struggled with my whole life.
Now, I am not a Christian, but for the first time the phrase I always thought to be kinda corny, What would Jesus Do? held some resonance. I began thinking, well what would he do? Jesus came from a place of love. He believed in mending relationships through acts of forgiveness and reconciliation; however, according to the Bible, he did not sit idly by either when he encountered injustice.
“Then Jesus went into the temple of God and drove out all those who bought and sold in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves. And He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you have made it a ‘den of thieves.’ ”
(Matthew 21:12-13 NKJV)
In all my thinking about Jesus, and no I am still not a Christian, I felt equally as conflicted as before. Then I remembered a stupid phrase, Tough titty said the kitty. Oddly that put me on the path of considering the concept of tough love. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, tough love is defined as “love or affectionate concern expressed in a stern or unsentimental manner (as through discipline) especially to promote responsible behavior.”
“Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
(Hebrew 12:11 NKJV)
Now I’m not going to go around spanking everyone for their inhumane behavior, though some of you may like that, I will hold people responsible for what they say and do. I will no longer participate in normalizing bad behavior. I will call you out for the spread of misinformation. I will point out flawed logic in your thinking and if you don’t like it you don’t have to be around me.
Where is the love in that? Well, I will engage in thoughtful discussion with open-minded individuals regardless of their political affiliation. I will fight for justice for humanity even if you did not. And when you Trump voters wake up and finally realize that the decision you made, out of self-preservation, the decision that will hurt and kill countless humans, is ultimately going to hurt you as well, I will still help you to pick up the pieces to forge a better society, but I’m still going to tell you, “I told you so.”
“So tough titty said the kitty.”